Full Review

As if irritatingly loud yakking on public transportation and annoying ring-tones going off in quiet theaters weren't bad enough, here's another gripe against cell phones: They may serve as a gateway for ghosts to enter the world and harass those still in the flesh.

At least that's the premise behind "Pulse" (Dimension), director Jim Sonzero's bleak and listless remake of Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2001 Japanese horror film, "Kairo."

In the remake, Kristen Bell plays Mattie, a college student who, in trying to get to the bottom of the suicide of her computer-whiz boyfriend Josh (Jonathan Tucker), discovers -- together with her fellow dorm residents Isabell (Christina Milian) and Stone (Rick Gonzalez) and off-campus techie Dexter (Ian Somerhalder) -- that Josh had inadvertently activated a computer virus that opened a portal between the living and the dead, enabling the departed to cross over through computers or cell phones, which they do with regularity, leading to apocalyptic global consequences.

The initial breach apparently had to do with a telecommunication company's broadband experiment. (One wonders if the Federal Communications Commission has a contingency plan for such an otherworldly onslaught.)

The movie follows the blueprint of the original, but, despite some creepy effects, provides too few frights throughout its incoherent plot and lacks the hauntingly understated eeriness of the Asian version.

The viscid gloom hanging over much of the film conveys a sense of pessimism and despair concerning the afterlife (and even the here and now) that obviously conflicts with the Catholic virtue of hope. As before, it touches on themes of loneliness and alienation, while tapping into anxieties over modern technology, though the tone here is much less philosophic.

This "Pulse" could definitely use one.

The film contains some scary and suspenseful sequences, a couple of suggested sexual encounters, a suicide, some crude language and humor, as well as a few instances of rough language and profanity. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is A-III -- adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

Movies have been evaluated by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishop's Office for Film and Broadcasting according to artistic merit and moral suitability. The reviews include the USCCB rating, the Motion Picture Association of America rating, and a brief synopsis of the movie.

The classifications are as follows:

• A-I -- general patronage;
• A-II -- adults and adolescents;
• A-III -- adults;
• A-IV**
• L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. L replaces the previous classification, A-IV.
• O -- morally offensive.