My Daughter the Nun

"I didn't want Rose Marie to be a nun. I wanted her to finish her nursing studies. I didn't know a lot about nuns but I felt that they had such a restricted life," said Anna Jorde Pelligra, mother of Sister Rose Marie, a Franciscan sister who lives and works in New York City. "Rose Marie was the oldest of our four children," said Mrs. Pellagra. "She was very smart and was always winning awards. We were a close-knit, very religious family and she was adored. I worried because she had it so good. How would she adapt to all the rules and restrictions?"

At 46, Sister Rose Marie Pelligra is the central case manager for Visiting Nurse Service of New York, where she is responsible for overseeing the home care requests for all five boroughs of New York. She is also a part-time student at Hunter College where next year she will graduate from their Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Program.

Mrs. Pelligra is a native of Sweden who still lives in Syracuse, New York, where she and her husband, Joseph, raised Rose Marie, her sister and two brothers. "Growing up, our family was very close," Mrs. Pelligra recalled. "We prayed at meals and at night time. We talked a lot about God, religion and values. The children knew what was right and what was wrong. The public schools were very good where we lived but her father insisted that the children attend parochial school."

Rose Marie was "an obedient daughter" and listened to her mother. She continued her studies and traveled the world. "I had a wonderful job as the head nurse in pediatrics at a hospital in Syracuse. I had a boyfriend, but I think I scared him off when I told him I wanted to be a nun. There was always this gnawing at me to be a nun. I had the application to become a nun sitting on my desk when a sister I was working with asked me if I had ever considered becoming a nun. You could say that God threw the brick in the window. At 27 I entered religious life."

Joseph Pelligra took the news of his oldest daughter's entering religious life better than his wife. "My husband loved the nuns," remembers Mrs. Pelligra. He had a history of helping them. When he was young, his family drove the nuns around on errands or took them to the doctor. The only reason my husband didn't want Rose Marie to become a nun was because the thought of seeing her once a year was heartbreaking. He would miss her too much. But he thought that being a nun was wonderful. And he was always very supportive and proud of her.

"Sister Rose Marie agreed. "My father has always been part of my spiritual heritage. Prayer, church and community were all an important part of my upbringing. I attribute my vocation to both of my parents and to my high school Latin teacher who was a Franciscan sister. "For 10 years Rose Marie put her nursing skills to work at her order's mission in Hawaii. Mr. and Mrs. Pelligra made three trips to visit their daughter there, even though her father was ill. "My parents stayed with us at the convent," Sister Rose Marie said. "My dad was confined to a wheelchair and we would go to Mass each day." Mr. Pelligra died in 1992.

"I'm getting used to the fact that Rose Marie is a nun, almost 20 years now!" Mrs. Pelligra said. "I am happy that she is a nun because I can see that she is happy and she brings this happiness to so many people. I feel better that they have loosened many of the rules, too. There have been some difficult times over the years, just as difficult times come into everyone's lives. But Rose Marie will call me up and say, 'Mother, pray for me.'"

Sister Rose Marie lives at St. Anthony's Convent in Greenwich Village with 19 other sisters. "I do worry about her," said Mrs. Pelligra. "I've heard gunshots at night when I've stayed there. But Rose Marie won't slow down. She's always on the go. Every morning she calls me to see how I'm doing. I feel that I'm the one who should be calling her!"

At 75, Mrs. Pelligra is on the go as well. She continues to work the night shift at a psychiatric hospital in Syracuse, where she has worked for the past 20 years. For the past 10 years, she has worked with emotionally disturbed adolescents who are on drugs, depressed or suicidal. For more than two decades, Sister Rose Marie has brought physical and spiritual healing to children in need. "I love to work with children," she said. "They are so honest and so excited about discovery. I pray before I visit each child: 'God let me give them a gift. Help me to bring them some happiness or some healing in Your name.'"